The Growling Sleepover
by TrevorB
Summary: Vincent is forced into a girly sleepover.....with Sephiroth....oh the mayhem!


A/N: Camillia: Well, well, well…..here I am….again….but this time…..hold on for suspense…..I HAVE A FRIEND!! Dun dun duuuuuuuuunnnnn….

Dr. Hairspray: Um … yeeeeeeaaaah … sleepovers, Coke Zero, sugar of all kinds, and Final Fantasy 7:Dirge of Cerberus … oh the fun we will have …

Camillia: Oh yes….we shall have MUCHO fun-thing.

Dr. Hairspray: Yeah-YUUUUUH!!!!

Camillia: Shall we begin? (**stares at shiny thing in awe)**

**Dr. Hairspray: (Cam-chan's brother walks in) AHHH! Small child scared me!**

**Brother: Can I watch you play Final Fantasy??**

**Both with red eyes and horns: NOOPOOO!**

Dr. Hairspray: Nopo? Damn typos!

Disclaimer: We do not own.

Warnings: Crack and some yaoi/slash/boyboy. Some het as well.

It gets better. We promise.

xXxXxXx

Tifa, Yuffie, Riku, and Paine sat in a tense circle. Over their shoulders, you could see Camillia and Dr. Hairspray, both sipping sodas and looking bored.

"It's an orange wire!" Yuffie yelled, holding the blue device in her hands, her knuckles white. "Orange!"

"Orange wire? What are you-" Paine was cut off with the loud buzz that meant the end.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!" Yuffie screamed in pain. "It was a basketball!"

Tifa snatched the small blue device -- Catchphrase, as it turned out -- out of Yuffie's hands. "Idiot! How's a basketball an orange wire?"

Riku suddenly looked up and whined, "I'm boooooored."

Both Camillia and Dr. Hairspray cried gleefully, "Subject change!"

"Okay Paine, Truth or Dare?" Yuffie asked.

Paine threw her chest out proudly, "Dare!"

"Okaaaay … lick the window screen, with all the bugs and stuff!"

"EEEEEWWWWWWWW"

After Paine had completed her task and thrown up a couple times. "Okay TIFA, Truth or dare?" she demanded snootily.

"Dare." Tifa replied uninterestedly.

"Hmm … I dare you to … run naked upstairs."

Shrugging and stripping at the same time (ignoring the fact Camillia was humming stripper music), she took off up the stairs. They listened to the sound of her footsteps for a few minutes before there was a loud crash and a thump.

"What the hell was that?"

"I think she ran into that wall that everyone runs into."

"Oh …. Well damn."

After about five minutes, Tifa came stumbling down the stairs, still naked with her nose bleeding. Yuffie took pity on her and helped her back into her pajamas.

"Okay, ahh … you," she muttered, pointing to Dr. Hairspray. "Truth or Dare?"

Dr. Hairspray looked up blankly. "Tru-wah?"

"Okay, Truth. Who-"

Camillia leaped in front of her, waving her arms wildly, "Who's the hottest character in Final Fantasy?"

Without missing a beat, all five of the other girls replied, "Vincent."

The girls squealed, whereas Camillia got a calculating look on her face. While the others began gossiping (as girls are prone to do), she and Dr. Hairspray snuck off. It took them twenty minutes to convince Vincent that a super-duper history buff was at HQ and was DYING to talk to him.

So when the two girls tugged him into Riku's room, he was slightly surprised to see the girl's in their pajamas and sitting in a circle.

"What the-"

"GET HIM!!!!"

xXxXxXx

Vincent stared at the girls in a mix of horror and anger (if possible) and struggled against the ropes around his arms. 'History buff wants to talk to me my ass….I can't believe I fell for this…' he thought with a sweatdrop.

Paine grinned and pressed on Vincent's shoulders, forcing him to sit down in the middle of the room, while the girls huddled around him with eager looks on their faces.

Dr. Hairspray put her hand to her chin in thought before remembering a certain detail about the ex-Turk.

"Hey…hey you," she said, poking him, "Growl."

"Wha'" Vincent asked, hopelessly confused.

"I said 'Growl' damnit!"

"Um…..growl?"

"Yes! Now bitch!"

"Why?"

"Because you have a sexy growly voice, now DO IT!"

All the girls leaned in with hopeful expressions on their faces while Vincent stared before rolling his eyes and quietly growling.

"We can't hear you!" Yuffie exclaimed.

Vincent sighed in defeat, "Grrrr"

" SQUEE!" the girls cried out in unison.

A hard knocking was heard on the window making all the girls turn their attention away from Vincent. Tifa got up and opened it and stepping back allowing a man with long silver hair to enter.

"Where's Vin---oh, there you are. Hey, what are you gilrs doing with MY man?" The man asked with a venomous tone.

"Se-Sephiroth?" Vincent asked with bewilderment.

"We are making him growl!" Riku chimed in all bubbly like.

Sephiroth stood there among the girls in silence before getting a look of extreme interest on his face.

"Hold on." He said before dashing out of the room only to come quickly back dressed in light blue pajamas with rubber duckies on it and his hair pulled up into bouncy pig tails.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Vincent said as he stared at his lover in sheer terror.

Sephiroth sat down with the girls and began poking Vincent energetically.

"Growl." He commanded.

"What?!" Vincent replied taken aback.

" I said growl! You know," he began twirling one end of his pigtail with his finger, "like, what you do when we're, like, in bed and rolling around while my---"

"I get it, I get it….but…I don't wanna." Vincent complained, scrunching up into a little ball.

In a flash of movement, Sephiroth had his sword, Masamune, pointed at Vincent's nose. "GROWL."

"GRRRROOOOOWWWWLLLLL!" he cried, snarling. All the girls, which includes Sephiroth, squealed happily. However, the moment was ruined BY Sephiroth.

"Ow!" he exclaimed sharply, whining and pouting when his finger got stuck in his hair.

"Oh, poor baby," Camillia said sympathetically, helping him get untangled.

With a haughty flip of his hair, he said, "It's so incredible that I grew my hair out so that I can, like, sit on it, but it is _soo_ annoying! Maybe I should just cut it."

"No!" the other girls cried, horrified. They began bombarding him with compliments.

"It's so pretty!"

"And silky!"

"You can't just cut it off!"

He toyed with the ends bashfully, "I wash it four times a day with Herbal Essences, and I just tried out for one of the commercials!"

"Ooh, really?"

"You'll so get the part!"

Vincent twitched, "So … gay …"

But then Sephiroth undid his hair and began running his fingers through it, throwing his head back and screaming, "Oh! Oh yes!" and moaning.

The girls swallowed thickly in unison, and Vincent was trying to block his nosebleed without using his hands.

Noticing their reactions (especially Vincent's!) he began to crawl towards the other man, shoulders rolling and hips swaying.

Sephiroth put his face about an inch from Vincent's, lips brushing his as he spoke.

"So … you liiiike?"

The girl's held their breath collectively.

Vincent's eyes had gone hazy, and he opened his mouth to say-

"Yo! What's up Vin-woooooOOOOAAAHHH!"

All heads spun to see Cid standing in the doorway, leer clear on his face.

"Doing something kinky?"

If looks could kill … well, apparently they could, because he was on the ground dead in half a second, the girls moving over to stab at his corpse. Sephiroth sat back and sighed, pulling is hair back into pigtails and pouting. Vincent just squirmed.

Dr. Hairspray went back up to Vincent and began poking him again. "Growl."

"What? Again?" he asked with an exasperated sigh.

"Yes again!"

"But now I can't, the moment is gone….not like there really was one to begin with though."

"I. Said. Growl."

"Hold on, hold on," Sephiroth chimed in, "I know how to get him to growl."

With that said, he crawled over to Vincent and squeezed his crotch, gaining a full blown growl for the ex-Turk.

"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…" they all cried out together.

"Okay, I'm done." Riku said happily.

"Yeah, bed time" Paine said, stifling a yawn.

"Vincent's pretty comfy, we can sleep on him." Sephiroth said with amusement in his voice.

The girls all nodded and watched as Sephiroth went up to Vincent and pressed his lips firmly against the others, forcing the ex-Turk to lay down slyly. He then went down to Vincent's hips and laid his head on his crotch.

"Ahhh, nice and squishy." He purred in contentment.

Everyone else chose a random spot on Vincent to lay on and fell into a quiet slumber.

At that moment Cid, beaten and tired, gained consciousness and sat up.

"Ah man, what the hell hap---woooOOOOOOOAAAH….." he said staring at Vincent and the girls (and Sephiroth). "Getting kinky again are we?"

xXxXxXx

A/N: Camillia: AH! Much better!

Dr. Hairspray: SO … sexy … (drool)

Camillia: Poor Cid, having to wake up to that…not that I'D be offended at such a site (wink wink)

Dr. Hairspray: (nudge nudge) Dude, this was SO MUCH FUN!!!

Camillia: WEEEEEEEEE!…..ee

Dr. Hairspray: Squee-age.

Camillia: yeah……(falls asleep)

Dr. Hairspray: (weird piggy sounds) That's all folks!


End file.
